Invisible Man: Kibum

Kim Kibum (김기범)

Birth Date: August 21, 1987

Job description: Actor. Was a rapper when he participated in SJ’s music activities.

First Impressions: Beautiful Smile; Speak no Evil; MISA (Missing in SuJu Action) since 2008

Aliases: Snow White (Heechul came up with that)

The Good: If anyone remembers Kibum for anything, it’s his trademark smile. Yep.

I did Spiderman, I did; that’s honestly all I remember Kibum for.

The Bad: Before I get started, I just wanted to say that “I’m not a hater, I’m I’m not a hater.”¹

Thanks for the warning Yunho, but I’m gonna say it anyway. And you won’t hurt me- I’m writing about your group after I finish SJ.

“Well what’s made you- what’s got you so mad today?”²

“Me?”²

Well, ” ‘cus everybody wants to [act], everybody wants to [act], that’s good- I’ll [watch their dramas/movies/plays to determine how good their skills are, to determine how good their skills are].” But it’s another thing to be in a band where your primary responsibility is to, you know, sing, compose,and/or perform music and wrap it together with a snappy dance and then suddenly disappear from said band into thin air for three years only to re-emerge on the drama circuit.  And then claim that you’re still part of said band but are on “hiatus” so that you can have time to act, which was previously your side job.

In a sentence: “I love Super Junior, I like ELF, and I like you too- but I’m going to go on an indefinite hiatus on SJ activities and act instead.”³

Sorry Sorry folks, but I’m not buying it.

‘Cause let me tell you something – Siwon acts EVERY DAMN DAY and still manages to participate in the vast majority of SJ activities.⁴ And yet “we hear EVERY DAMN DAY” about ELFs predicting that any day now Siwon will play his Kibum Trap Hole Trap Card and disappear into the abyss while we sit at the top, patiently waiting for him to climb back out or keep  throwing him ropes and hope and pray that one of them reaches him.  We hear “EVERY DAMN DAY about the brink of catastrophe” and “how it’s a shame that [Siwon] can’t [just focus on SJ’s activities].” “But the truth is, [he] does, [he] works to get [both] things done-

He acts and does SJ group activities

Those ELFs “can hold [their magnifying glasses] up to [Siwon’s music show and concert absences]. Bringing them into focus. Or they can use their magnifying glasses to [try and find Kibum] and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden [Missing Kibum] Epidemic.”

Siwon works with actors and SJ

We as ELFs just have to realize that “there will always be darkness- sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t the Promised Land- it’s just [13 members], just-just [13 members].”* Hangeng left, Super Junior kept it moving. Kibum technically abdicated from the group at about the same time, and Super Junior kept it moving. So why can’t we do the same? If he wants to act instead of sing, LET HIM. If he’s not interested in being in Super Junior anymore, THAT’S OKAY. I’m happy to say that my faith (in both God and SJ) has allowed me to forgive Kibum.¹ I know that forgiveness is not easy, and that some of you are still reeling from my words-

But you guys know that therapy is next week right?

******

Credits: KANYE VS. BUSH?!¹, Strut that Ass Song², Debate Highlights Songified³, Sanity Song⁴ (All are schmoyoho on Youtube)

*13 members= Everyone (including Zhou Mi and Henry) without Hangeng (he left the group) and Kibum (he basically did the same)*

Baby Got Voice: Ryeowook

Kim Ryeowook (김려욱)

Birth Date: June 21, 1987

Job description: Super Junior’s highest pitched vocal.  Main vocal. Recently started a new job as a DJ for Sukira (Super Junior Kiss the Radio).  In Super Junior K.R.Y. and Super Junior M.

First Impressions: Cute; Shortest SJ member; Small Body, Big Voice; Should Open His Own Restaurant; He’s Not the Youngest ?!; Innocent; Likes to Cook; Competes with Yesung for Super Junior’s Most Spazztastic Dance Award; Gay; Fresh Out of Middle School

Aliases: Ryeonggu, Eternal Maknae (막내 youngest member of a group), Wookie

The Good: Ryeowook may be small in stature (in fact he’s the shortest in SJ), but his vocal abilities will silence any and all of your fitness and competency questions.  Besides being in SJ’s vocal unit Super Junior K.R.Y., Ryeowook often sings when the other members can’t sing (i.e. they’re too tired to sing).

Besides singing (he can SANG), Ryeowook supposedly makes a MEAN egg sandwich (I don’t like egg so I wouldn’t know); Donghae and Sungmin were practically fighting over it in an episode of Super Junior Star Life Theatre.

Even though it could be a fair statement that Ryeowook’s life is about singing and musicals, which also includes singing (besides his gig as DJ for Sukira, he doesn’t do much else- no movies (Attack of the Pin Up Boys doesn’t count), no variety show hosting, no dramas, etc), he apparently found the time to work out, for we have these

“You ain’t ready for my ABS!”

Of course, people looked at Ryeowook’s abs from different viewpoints.

“We didn’t see it coming!”

Insomniacs (Ryeowook fans)

From the “Ryeowook should remain innocent” camp

Everyone

Everyone pt 2

For all the ladies out there (especially Insomniacs), Heechul basically ensures that you will never have to cook again if you marry Ryeowook:

The short statured singer also has the most epic, gravity defying hair flips. Watch as he flips his hair into maximum overdrive:

While nowhere near Eunhyuk’s level, Ryeowook can dance- except he has just two styles:

Twerking

Electric Shock (not at all related to f(x) )

And now….EPIC DANCE BATTLES OF HISTORY!

YESUNG

VS

RYEOWOOK

BEGIN

On the left we have Yesung’s Slide-Two Step; on the right is Ryeowook’s Electric Jolt. Who Won? Who’s next? EPIC….DANCE BATTLES OF HISTORY!

The Bad:

Our records indicate that Ryeowook is an outstanding citizen, even with the reports about his sharp tongue (they weren’t as numerous as those featuring Kyuhyun’s).

XXXXXXX

Come at me bro!

Banpo Bridge- Rainbow Fountain

This episode of Korea: Sights and Sounds features the famous Banpo Bridge.

The Banpo Bridge is located around Express Bus Terminal Station (Line 3,7,or 9; 3호선,7호선,9호선), exit 8-1, in Seoul’s Seocho-gu (서초구) or Seocho district. Once again, the specific walking directions are way beyond my expertise, so go to the Korea Tourism Organization’s page on Banpo Bridge for more information.

What makes Banpo Bridge unique is its Rainbow Fountain, which gushes out colors along with the water.

And all those shadowy figures? Those are couples- my Korean friend told me that Banpo Bridge is a pretty romantic spot, and that proposals have been made here. So if you have a Korean boyfriend or girlfriend, ask them to bring you here!

That’s all for this episode folks!