Human Torch: Kyuhyun

SUJU9 20130122_kyuhyun_retweet-600x800 tumblr_m6h3c2CYpS1rz48jao1_1280

Cho Kyuhyun (조규현)

Birth Date: February 3, 1988

Job description: One of Super Junior’s Main Vocals.  A host on MBC’s Radio Star talk show. Trying his hand at musicals.  In Super Junior K.R.Y. and Super Junior M.

First Impressions: EVIL-L; Distinct Voice; Awkward; Snarky; Trained in the art of blackmail; Blunt; Starcraft Addict; Handsome; King of Games

Aliases: Evil Maknae (막내 the youngest in a group), Game Kyu, Dancing Kyu, Maknae on Top  (has an infinite number of aliases, but these are the main ones)

The Good: Some folks say that Kyuhyun is the devil’s spawn (maybe that’s why Siwon is often seen hanging around him- to convince him to come to the light).  He’s called the ‘Evil Maknae’ for a reason – besides kicking the other members occasionally, Kyuhyun is known for committing “verbal murder in the major 3rd degree” by spewing out vile words on the members (yes, that includes Heechul- from 5:23).

Here, have some more verbal and physical abuse:

It seems that no one is safe from his forked tongue.

Why, please have some more Evil Maknae.

1. “Reality hits you hard, bro”

tumblr_mgqoqgL0JD1qd2b1mo6_r2_250 tumblr_mgqoqgL0JD1qd2b1mo5_r2_250 tumblr_mgqoqgL0JD1qd2b1mo4_r1_250 tumblr_mgqoqgL0JD1qd2b1mo2_r1_250\

2. “Come bite my thumb! …”

190134370_640

97c6d8189ad8d0668dbb55e697259f51 3502srd

3. Taunting

kyu-evil tumblr_mua8pozH1k1skuasuo1_250

4. “That’s it, everyone dies!” (4 is an unlucky number in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean because its Chinese character means “death.”)

tumblr_m0nqtiyoGs1qh1a0yo2_500 tumblr_m8k1cmVE6v1qi7s0co1_400 tumblr_mfnrd9UspO1qi7s0co1_500 tumblr_mgwq13W3Kq1qi7s0co1_500 tumblr_mgwpzlD55e1qi7s0co1_500

jhac05

5. Miscellaneous

tumblr_m6375ssrxL1qiv6fro1_500 sdf tumblr_lhup0gUzwz1qcg2ax super-junior-kyuhyun-creeping-on-donghae-macro

kyuhyun___evil_maknae_by_kairuxriisu-d4cprcl

6. Assault

tumblr_m2lcgbgMXj1rnsd0lo1_400 super_junior__evil_maknae_xd_by_missnsomerhalder-d46dl1a

7.  “I make it rain.”

tumblr_n4eo9cxcEA1qdxrpuo1_250 tumblr_n4eo9cxcEA1qdxrpuo4_250 tumblr_n4eo9cxcEA1qdxrpuo2_500 tumblr_n4eo9cxcEA1qdxrpuo3_500

Why is any of this good, you ask? His Super Junior hyungs (형 older brother) let him get away with it, and much of his sharp comments about the members (or anything else) are accurate.

Moving on to something more traditionally good, Kyuhyun can SANG. (The vid below is mostly for you music nerds out there; if you’re not one of them, ignore the symbols and just listen.)

It’s not that Kyuhyun is incapable of being cute,

tumblr_mssua7Nq3T1qcxwnto1_250 tumblr_mssua7Nq3T1qcxwnto2_250

tumblr_mhhtsrctN11rnz9mno2_500

but more often than not, he’s awkward and evil

tumblr_m8txd40SfW1qaoagyo2_250 tumblr_mgbi3jkGzO1rphmbyo1_2502cad241cd30cd0964965a56a461342e9 images-1

with a dash of sexy.

tumblr_m93jql2fj31qfeczbo1_1280

Take a good look, ladies (and gents)…this is Kyuhyun’s version of nudity.

tumblr_lepaaxdk2u1qa7tfso1_250 48233373 kyuhyun2

tumblr_lryw3zfilb1qgtz7no1_400

So he is kind of like the Human Torch of Fantastic Four fame, except that instead of shooting flames at the villains, he shoots a fireball of words. And then he engulfs you in flames of lust.  It’s like he’s a walking Trap Card- you see the awkwardness and meanness, and then he does the slightest smirk

tumblr_m8hgoadDHh1r6ri65

and BOOM- you’re dead. It seems that almost no one can avoid his Continuous Trap.

P.S. Did I mention he’s the King of Games?

colorful-king-of-games

Um…

yymm1

Yeah, that’s more like it!

The Bad: Whenever you look at Kyuhyun, you really are “looking at a miracle“- he almost perished in a very,very bad car accident. I think he still has a few scars as a result of the accident/surgery (the only confirmed one is the one around his waist), which explains why the nudity (however rare it is) is limited to his shoulders and arms. But according to some Gamers (Kyuhyun’s fans), his lack of shirtless scenes adds to his sexiness and mystique.

Other than that, Kyuhyun has a long rap sheet detailing innumerable instances of verbal abuse and a shorter sheet covering assault (Eunhyuk decided to come forward).

*******

"Baby, there's a devil- there's something like it- inside."

“Baby, there’s a devil- there’s something like it- inside of me.” (Devil Inside by Utada)

Sources: Epic Rap Battles of History- Justin Bieber vs. Beethoven; Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare,  Reality Hits You Hard Bro- Schmoyoho (Youtube), Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Advertisements

One thought on “Human Torch: Kyuhyun

  1. Pingback: The Super Junior Guide | SEOUL'd OUT

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s