Human Torch: Kyuhyun

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Cho Kyuhyun (조규현)

Birth Date: February 3, 1988

Job description: One of Super Junior’s Main Vocals.  A host on MBC’s Radio Star talk show. Trying his hand at musicals.  In Super Junior K.R.Y. and Super Junior M.

First Impressions: EVIL-L; Distinct Voice; Awkward; Snarky; Trained in the art of blackmail; Blunt; Starcraft Addict; Handsome; King of Games

Aliases: Evil Maknae (막내 the youngest in a group), Game Kyu, Dancing Kyu, Maknae on Top  (has an infinite number of aliases, but these are the main ones)

The Good: Some folks say that Kyuhyun is the devil’s spawn (maybe that’s why Siwon is often seen hanging around him- to convince him to come to the light).  He’s called the ‘Evil Maknae’ for a reason – besides kicking the other members occasionally, Kyuhyun is known for committing “verbal murder in the major 3rd degree” by spewing out vile words on the members (yes, that includes Heechul- from 5:23).

Here, have some more verbal and physical abuse:

It seems that no one is safe from his forked tongue.

Why, please have some more Evil Maknae.

1. “Reality hits you hard, bro”

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2. “Come bite my thumb! …”


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3. Taunting

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4. “That’s it, everyone dies!” (4 is an unlucky number in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean because its Chinese character means “death.”)

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5. Miscellaneous

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6. Assault

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7.  “I make it rain.”

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Why is any of this good, you ask? His Super Junior hyungs (형 older brother) let him get away with it, and much of his sharp comments about the members (or anything else) are accurate.

Moving on to something more traditionally good, Kyuhyun can SANG. (The vid below is mostly for you music nerds out there; if you’re not one of them, ignore the symbols and just listen.)

It’s not that Kyuhyun is incapable of being cute,

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but more often than not, he’s awkward and evil

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with a dash of sexy.


Take a good look, ladies (and gents)…this is Kyuhyun’s version of nudity.

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So he is kind of like the Human Torch of Fantastic Four fame, except that instead of shooting flames at the villains, he shoots a fireball of words. And then he engulfs you in flames of lust.  It’s like he’s a walking Trap Card- you see the awkwardness and meanness, and then he does the slightest smirk


and BOOM- you’re dead. It seems that almost no one can avoid his Continuous Trap.

P.S. Did I mention he’s the King of Games?




Yeah, that’s more like it!

The Bad: Whenever you look at Kyuhyun, you really are “looking at a miracle“- he almost perished in a very,very bad car accident. I think he still has a few scars as a result of the accident/surgery (the only confirmed one is the one around his waist), which explains why the nudity (however rare it is) is limited to his shoulders and arms. But according to some Gamers (Kyuhyun’s fans), his lack of shirtless scenes adds to his sexiness and mystique.

Other than that, Kyuhyun has a long rap sheet detailing innumerable instances of verbal abuse and a shorter sheet covering assault (Eunhyuk decided to come forward).


"Baby, there's a devil- there's something like it- inside."

“Baby, there’s a devil- there’s something like it- inside of me.” (Devil Inside by Utada)

Sources: Epic Rap Battles of History- Justin Bieber vs. Beethoven; Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare,  Reality Hits You Hard Bro- Schmoyoho (Youtube), Dragon Ball Z Abridged


One thought on “Human Torch: Kyuhyun

  1. Pingback: The Super Junior Guide | SEOUL'd OUT

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