Pink Panther: Sungmin

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Lee Sungmin (이성민)

Birth Date: January 1, 1986

Job description: Master of the art of cute. Martial artist. One of Super Junior’s lead dancers. Moonlights as a musical actor. Recently started a new job as a DJ for Sukira (Super Junior Kiss the Radio). Recent addition to Super Junior M. The first Super Junior Husband. Enlisted in the military on March 31, 2015.

First Impressions: Gay; Pinkaholic; “In charge of being cute” (Zhoumi’s words); Can Sing Better Than I Thought; Perfect Skin; The Best at Everything; “Feminine” (Heechul’s words); SJ’s Bruce Lee; Strong; Fashion Terrorist

Aliases: Aegyo King, Pink Prince, 단호박 (danhobak pumpkin)

The Good:

This list of butt-kicking experts is quite comprehensive, but with all due respect Mr. President, there is one expert missing from your list: Lee Sungmin from the South Korean boy band Super Junior. I think he’d be a good replacement for Bruce Lee, unless you’re seeking his advice through a medium. Even so, I still think Lee Sungmin would be a great asset in regards to the ongoing negotiations with North Korea (and, quite frankly sir, I’m not sure that Jackie Chan can be trusted after his America- is -the -most-corrupt-nation remark).

So sir, I was just wondering if we could go down the list of why Sungmin deserves to be a part of your panel.

[pause]

Singing (music soothes the savage beast)

Expert.

Expert.

Martial Arts (‘enuff said)

Expert.

Expert.

Aegyo 애교 (to stun and confuse the enemy)

Expert.

Expert.

Culinary expertise (so he won’t starve when he’s on a mission)

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“What’s that? You want me to make more?”

Expert.

Expert.

Child rearing (in case he has to go undercover as a babysitter and/or live-in nanny)

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[brief pause]

Expert.

Expert.

Electric Guitar! (for an impromptu jam session)

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Expert!

Expert!

Japanese! (when dealing with Japan or Japanese communities)

Expert!

Expert!

Persuasion Techniques! (when the other methods don’t work)

Expert!

Expert!

…his CAMOUFLAGE SKILLS!

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"You know, I-I gotta tell ya..."

“You know, I-I gotta tell ya…”

A_Few_Moments_Later

Expert.

Expert.

Now that that process is out of the way (Obama did appoint Sungmin to his butt-kicking panel. Now he has to decide if he should appoint Wolverine, Professor X, Magneto, Storm and others to the panel, which may require the creation of a sub-panel)….

In additon to being an Expert, Sungmin also acts as SuJu’s Little Helper, wiping and patting the members’ faces if there’s anything amiss and giving Leeteuk and Heechul massages. He also displays patience and consideration for others; in an interview, his now ex-roommate Kyuhyun said that Sungmin let him play computer games late at night while he was trying to sleep, but took the phone outside if it rang.

The Bad: Sungmin has a clean record so there’s nothing for the court to harp on here (and if there was, they’d tell Obama first).

But Sungmin went through a kind of masculinity crisis from around 2010-2011 in which he tried too hard to be more manly and significantly less cute. You see, Sungmin’s favorite color back in the day (could still be, but we don’t know) – early in SuJu history, he appeared on a show and showed off all his many pink items: hat, cellphone, hoodie…

Then later on, it was revealed that he sleeps in a one piece dress. Couple both of those things with his penchant for aegyo or acting cute (look up ‘Sungmin aegyo’ on Youtube to get a sense of what it is) and questions arose surrounding his sexuality. As there is a huge stigma surrounding homosexuality and gay people in Korea, Sungmin may have wanted to cast suspicion off of himself (whether he’s gay or not is still a subject of active debate). So during the dark, sexy, and brooding Bonamana era (2010), Sungmin turned the sexiness and manliness up and the cuteness and aegyo down, and those volume adjustments continued into the Mr. Simple era (2011). Fans were wondering whether Sungmin hung the cute part of him in the closet, never to be seen again. However, in 2012, the cute Sungmin began to appear again – even the pink came back. Sungmin fans breathed a sigh of relief. It seems that he found a happy medium between masculine, sexy Sungmin and cute, innocent Sungmin.

*******

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Preparing for his next mission…

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Credits: OBAMA SINGS KICK ASS SONG (schmoyoho on YouTube), sup3rjunior.com/2012/10/12/121012-nylon-korea-october-issue-kyuhyuns-interview-trans/

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6 thoughts on “Pink Panther: Sungmin

  1. Pingback: The Super Junior Guide | SEOUL'd OUT

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