US Presidential Election 2012 Results

For Americans, this past election led to an increase in frayed nerves and the resurgence of nail-biting as an everyday occurence (Spider-Man captured this perfectly when he uttered, “I’m so scared that I may start biting my fingernails….and man, have I got fingernails.” Spider-Man the Animated Series (1994), episode 20).  When the dust finally cleared, people on both sides of the political spectrum yelled “ZOINKS!” in response to the results.  Summed up, the Democrat response was: “Those [polls] didn’t have [us] fooled for a minute-[we] knew it all the time.”  However, the Republican response was less cohesive, with some fainting, and others doing some version of  the following dialogue:

A: “What was that?” [Obama’s victory was just announced.]

B: “It can’t be my heart-it just stopped.”

So to commerate this historic and terrifying election, I’ve decided to put the thoughts and feelings of some of the main events into quotes. Most of the quotes are in English, with translations provided for all non-English ones.

Barack Obama-The Winner

To Romney:

쏘리 쏘리 쏘리 쏘리/ 내가 내가 내가 먼저/ [didn’t believe you you you]/빠져 빠져 [so] 버러 baby/ Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty/눈이 부셔 부셔 부셔 [by the confetti] /숨이 막혀 막혀 막혀/내가 미쳐 미쳐 baby

Eng: Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry/ First I I I/ [didn’t believe you you you]/ Fell fell [so] completely baby/ Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty/ My eyes are blinded blinded blinded [by the confetti]/ My breathing’s stopped stopped stopped/ I’m going crazy crazy baby

– Super Junior Sorry, Sorry

I’m really not your average [incumbent]/ Not your average [political] gangster/ And I won’t be defined by the size of [the economy]

-Leehom Wang/Wang Leehom “Not Your Average Thug”

It’s Gonna Be Me!

-Super Junior-M “迷” (Me)

Sexy, [Fly] & [ReElected] I’m Ready [for four more years].

-Super Junior “Sexy, Free & Single”

To Voters:

내가 떴다하면 다 외쳐 [President, President].   [Ohio, Iowa, Virginia, Florida] [President, President].

Eng: Once I’ve risen, yell [President, President]. [Ohio, Iowa, Virignia, Florida]  [President, President]

-Super Junior’s Donghae and Eunhyuk “Oppa Oppa”

Thank you my [voters].

僕はここにいるよ

Eng: I’m here.

-Tohoshinki (東方神起) “Thank You My Girl”

看我看看我 不要总是想着他

Eng: Look at me, look at me, don’t keep thinking about him [for those voters who remained undecided to the last minute and accidently picked Obama or those who were leaning toward Romney but picked Obama in the booth]

-Super Junior-M “Super Girl” (The original Chinese version.)

Voters to Obama:

Again and Again and Again …[*sad tone because some thought both candidates were undesirable but that Romney was worse]

-2PM “Again and Again”

You Are the One  [*said in unison by electorate]

-Super Junior “You Are the One”

To CNN, FOX, MSNBC, NBC, and news programs all over the US and the world that covered his victory:

Turn It Up Loud!

-TOP “Turn It Up”

Mitt Romney- The Loser

To Obama:

I’ll Be Back…

-2PM “I’ll Be Back”

To Himself:

난 어떻게?

Eng: What am I supposed to do?

-2pm “I’ll Be Back”

I keep thinking about how [the polls] used to be…

-Wonder Girls “2 Different Tears (English Version)”

Every Single Day I [tried], [but I still didn’t win]…

-Super Junior “Sexy, Free & Single”

I WON’T CRY over [an election]… 心も体もSO MUCH PAIN…

Eng: I WON”T CRY over [an election] …. My soul and body are in so much pain…

-M-flo ft. Crystal Kay “Love Don’t Cry”

To Voters:

왜?

Eng: Why?

-동방신기(東方神起) “왜? Why? Keep Your Head Down”

*동방신기 and Tohoshinki are the same group; 동방신기 is the Korean pronunciation of 東方神起 and Tohoshinki is the Japanese pronunciation of the same combination of characters.*

Abandoned…

-Jay Park “Abandoned”

[Ya’ll] Don’t Feel Me Like Before…

-M-flo ft. Crystal Kay “REEEWIND”

忘れないで 忘れないで [his defeat and the Republicans’]

Eng: Don’t forget, Don’t forget* [his defeat and the Republicans’]

*Some translations say “Don’t forget, never forget” but as a novice translator, in my mind the second “don’t forget” is uttered with strong emphasis.* 

-Tohoshinki (東方神起) “Duet”

What the Republicans/Romney Did Wrong:

[우리] 원조 여자 [rights] 킬러

Eng: We’re the original women’s [rights] killers.

-Super Junior’s Donghae and Eunhyuk “Oppa Oppa”

I Don’t Care [about the 47%].

-2NE1 “Don’t Care”

Hey- I DON’T KNOW [what my real policies are]

-Tohoshinki (東方神起) “I Don’t Know”

Obama’s Victory Dance:

Boom Shaka Laka

-Big Bang “Fantastic Baby”

So all I wanna say … is How You Like Me Now?

-Kool Moe Dee “How You Like Me Now?”

Romney’s Sad Shuffle:

I tried so hard, and got so far/ But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

-Linkin Park “In The End”

어떻게살라는거니?

Eng: How am I supposed to live?

-Super Junior “Heartquake”

Old School Style (related mostly to the candidates themselves):

Obama:

MC Hammer- “Pump It Up (Here’s The News)”

George Michael- “Monkey”

Romney:

WHAM- “Bad Boys”

New Kids on the Block- “You’ve Got the Right Stuff”

The Scooby-Doo Edition

Obama:

“Well, [those polls] didn’t fool me for a minute- I knew it all the time.”

“All he said was “Yes,” and already I’m scared!” [during the 1st debate]

“Obama, Where Are You? We’ve got some work to do now.” [after the 1st debate]

“ZOINKS!” [the polls/the ads]

“You know a guy could die of [anticipation] waiting [for the results to come in]!’

Romney:

“ZOINKS!” [the polls/the ads]

“You know a guy could die of [anticipation] waiting [for the results to come in]!”

“[Roundabout Romney] did it again!” [from pundits]

“And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for [Obama and his meddling “gifts”]!”

Suggestions? Complaints? Leave it in the comments!

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